wife during deployment EA/PA another service membe

[Train]

Yep. Expect her to lash-out like a toddler who just had a lollipop pulled out of her mouth. Poor baby. It really blows when you learn that you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

You've just shifted things. And she's not going to be happy about it. This is the part where you "take a hit in the nice department." My H lashed out at me, too, after I left flowers and a card for him and OW at a hotel I knew they would be staying at one night. I left there and took a folder full of evidence to OW's H and told him about the A. And then I called OW's boss, because the A had started, and was being carried out, primarily on company time.

H pulled out all the stops to try to get me to D him and leave OW alone. He even PROMISED he would "start being nice" to me - lucky ME, right?!? - if I would just leave OW alone. I mean, wow! Way to pull on my heartstrings, right?! Pfft.

Anyway ...

It's important to understand how imperative it is for you to stick to a tough-love stance once you have decided on it. She will be watching you like a hawk and likely waiting for (and even pushing for) ONE sign of weakness. And if you fall for it, it could cause quite a bit of damage in the respect department. Remember: Strength and honor. You're not doing this to hurt your W. You're doing it because you respect your M and your commitment to her. And you're the only one fighting for that right now. No matter what, I PROMISE you that a woman respects a man who is strong and confident and decisive (please notice I didn't say: "an as$"). She finds those qualities ATTRACTIVE.

You sound really good; that's a great way to kick-off a week-long break. I think it's really good timing and will do you both a lot of good.