Just for balance, although I don't want my kids to know either... I've spoken to a lot of adult friends whose parents went through this. They agree that the worst was not knowing what was going on. They attached to the more attentive parent, regardless of who was "wrong". They wanted the opportunity to discuss with a parent rather than a therapist (though sometimes therapists were helpful with dealing with known information).
My D11 is not a straightforward person. I think she suspects what her dad has been up to. She mentions things from time to time -- like how much he texts when the kids are with him. Given that he has always been a pretty heavy phone guy, it must be a lot for her to bring it up specifically. But she's not asking me a question (which I couldn't answer even if she were) so there's no way for us to discuss.
Food for thought.
I stand by my opinion that the "unconventional" living arrangement is abusive, and that there is a reason it's unconventional.
My two cents.
Last edited by Maybell; 01/30/1506:56 PM.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
