Please re-read and absorb what AJ wrote up there ^^^.
When stbxw first moved out, I have to admit to being in competition to being the better parent than she was...us guys are competitive by nature, I think. But that has gone away now, I'm just me, being the best me and father I can. For me, the key was to just stop caring about what she was thinking, doing, whatever. Doesn't matter anymore.
She fired me, and I'm not one to go on worrying, fretting, giving headspace to a former employer who fired me, ya know? This isn't much different, if different at all.
Quit looking over at her sandbox, and the cat turds in it now, and imagining the future cat turds that will be there ...
You don't want to get any on you (I love that UR phrase, so accurate).
Only spend time and effort (mentally, spiritually and physically) on things you can control...your stbxw is in God's hands now...any time spent on her is better spent working on you, your new job, new life and your D's.
I am really proud of how you have prioritized things and turned your life around, I knew you could do it. You got the ball rolling, keep the momentum going there and the rest will play out as it will.
Be the rock for your kids, they see it, and HAVE seen it all along. They know the truth, and you will be validated, it may take a while with teens, but you will... have no doubt.
Keep going, you got this!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
