Old dog seeks new trick 7

[Sotto]

OD, I'm so sorry to hear about this development - that's horrible for you. Sounds like your W wants to maintain the family unit, but be free to 'date' (or have a PA) outside of that.

Funny you know, a few weeks before BD, my H told me about a colleague who cheated on his W more than once and they split a couple of times, before agreeing to have an open marriage. He says they are both happy with that now. He told the story as though it was a happy ending, but I thought that was a lot of pain to go through to get to that point. In hindsight, I know where his mind was going at the time! Another sign that he was having an A that I missed.

It sounds as though you need to be at home tonight for your boys - but after that, you may want to have a think about what your plans are. Do you need to distance yourself before you can have another conversation about this with her?

I suppose on the plus side (and this may feel like a small plus now, but you'll be glad in time) she is telling you this. Of course, she may not be telling you everything. From the ipad note you found, she may have been in an EA/PA for some time. Do you know anything about his circumstances? Is he M too?

For you presumably, it is time to think about boundaries and what you are/are not prepared to live with. Your W will do what she will do - and possibly for a while. But you also have some control here, and can decide what you want to do too. Starsky's sitch may be a helpful one to have a look at if you want to consider a strong stance from the outset.

Keep posting DB - your DB buddies are all here for you, and we'll help as best we can.

I'm sending you a little kiss and a hug (((((x(((OD)))))x)))