Ahoy, Raliced, and Maybell. You ladies are amazing, and I look up to each of you. I know I'm headed down the same path as you, and hope I can handle it with the grace you have. I appreciate your input now, and I'm going to appreciate it in six months --please stick around for me!
STBX had girls this morning. He texted me to say D6 had been complaining about back pain and should he take her to the doctor. I didn't respond because I didn't see the text right away, so he ended up making the decision on his own to take her (great!)
Side note - D6 has had a non-stop parade of minor and sometimes suspicious health issues for the last few weeks (My finger hurts, I have a terrible cough etc. etc), and frankly I suspect she wants more attention (who can blame her).
Anyway - STBX sent me rapid text updates throughout the doctors appt. Her strep test came back positive and then he texted me to call him when I had a chance (they were then on the way to the pharmacy)
I called and said "Ok?" And he said in an agitated way "I thought we should talk about D6". Now here is where I should have just said "OK" and let him drive the conversation. Instead I waited in silence for a minute and then jumped in and asked questions about the appt., what the doctor said etc. He was clearly worried and I ended up basically reassuring him until he felt better about the whole thing.
I don't get it. This was a minor, minor health thing that happens routinely. He's dealt with far worse before.
I would say so - He's taken them to the doctor for more serious things routinely (it's actually easier for him to take them to doctor than me because of his work schedule).
On one memorable occasion when D6 was then 3, he ended up having to throw out all the clothes he took her in because of the effects of gastroenteritis. :-)
Just caught up on the last few pages. Good to see you're keeping it together...or thriving, actually.
Paperwork...I'm waiting on giving statement from my church to file. Then I'll get my last decent tax return for a long time. It seems I've lost some dependents! I also reset all my bills to my name, (gas, water, electric) as they were formerly in hers. Took my name off one of our joint checking accounts that she has appropriated.
Enjoy those excellent evenings! It seems you have a better appreciation for whimsy than I. Then again, XW is coming over today for her last pickup of formerly shared belongings. Maybe I'll be more in the mood for fun stuff after that particular hurdle is jumped.
Sad to hear no new positive DB turns for Maybell or rppfl. I was hoping to get a pleasant surprise. Nitty seems to have checked out, mostly, which I take as a positive sign that things continue to improve.
I'll try to check in from time to time, but no promises. Time spent here is, unfortunately, a reminder of how things have turned out. Good luck to you all.
Shakes
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Shakes, I think my situation is super-positive. I have clarity. I have peace. I have excitement for my new life. I don't have my STBX -- which means I don't have unmeetable expectations or a partner who doesn't care about being part of my happiness. Don't feel badly for me, I'm all good!!
Catch us up on your sitch a little more when you have a chance, I've missed seeing you around here.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I wouldn't say I'm thriving, but the feisty part of me refuses to let STBX's actions destroy my life and my inner Mama Bear is determined to minimize the negative effect on my girls.
I still feel washes of negative emotion pretty routinely. Yesterday - I was feeling a little insulted. I mean, seriously, I don't think being married to me should have been that miserable!
As time goes on - while I recognize I have lots to work on - I do realize this is more about STBX and where he is at in his life.
Did you ever make it to Divorce Care? I signed up for a session and was wondering how it was going for you.
Thanks, Shakes. Nope, nothing positive in the M department for me. Seems like I'm following in the footsteps of Raliced and Maybell, and I am making peace with that and watching them carefully. Life goes on.
Ahoy and raliced : My court date is Feb 23. 9:30-9:45. 15 minutes. 15 lousy minutes to terminate a 15 year marriage.... I, like you, am anxious to get it all over with and make everything official.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
Divorce Care started Wednesday, the day after I got the move-in / remarriage news. I missed it because S11 had a fever. I hope to attend a few sessions; unfortunately it's in the opposite direction of my children's new house. Fortunately, the classes stand alone, so even a few will be beneficial.
Maybell, I gave a quick rundown on my thread. Let's just say, while mindreading is verboten while DB'g, I've accurately called it all. It is a cold comfort. THANK YOU for pointing out that there are other positives besides a successful DB. Clarity is nice. Not having someone else question my every decision is nice. Knowing where every dime is in my bank account is nice. I have done a pretty good job of simplifying and stripping down my life, with a few steps to go (remortgage, home repair, paving the driveway). I have become a coupon clipper/ad watcher (but not to the point of ridiculousness.)
The only difficulties that I haven't overcome yet (but will with time) are the weeknights that I don't have the children (the pointlessness of it all and helplessness creep in) and training the doggone dog. I get her straightened out, then the kids show up and it's messes everywhere again! Almost comical. Almost.
Tomorrow, the kids and I will be going to a friendly local game/comic store to play Marvel Dicemasters and read (age- appropriate!) comic books. D8 wants some Spider-Man of her very own. S11 is interested in an independent title called Mouse Guard.
Life does go on. And someday, this will all be just a piece of a very rich tableau.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
