To a certain extend I regret it. I have to start DBing from scratch. On the other hand it helped me to finally fully open my eyes. I needed that again. To get the insight of my W's behaviour and thinking. I think this will help me greatly to detach, and in the end this night didn't change a thing of what she is thinking. I can truly detach now in peace and let everything take its course. Because that course was determined. Only downside is she seems to really wanting to rush into D now. But I know what I'm facing now. I wanted to get out of the limbo...and I made it out fast. It hurts, but I'm ok with it. She isn't going to learn her lesson anytime soon and all DB efforts I've done seemed completely unnoticed, although it was only a few weeks.
That's why you have to do it for you. Key is you may never get them back, hell with enough self respect you won't even want them back. Do things that you enjoy to do.
Originally Posted By: Complex
Tonight I gave it all my heart. Like I did many times before, but it was different, with all that I've learned about myself and her. It might not have been straight DB technique, but I was myself. A better myself. Unnoticed by W, but what does it matter. I'm proud of who I am! And I won't let anyone destroy that.
Right. That's why I tell folk, if you been cheated on it's not necessarily you had to be a "better" person, the WAS should have been a "better" person to not cheat.
However, it is a great time to do some things you have always wanted to do or concentrate on things that you had let go in the past. The reason you do it is because the WAS is not currently worth much of your time.
Originally Posted By: Complex
The last part of conversation, that actually started well, was this, and it sealed the deal: (talking about the word divorce and it's stigma) W "we should not give a fk about society because it's our own life" Me "that's what they all say..the devil speaking" W "no, it's called not to allow other ppl to make you feel like [censored] about yourself" Me "the only person that makes you feel like [censored] is yourself" W "stop worrying about the word divorce then, it's just a word" Me "ya, like marriage is just a word.........goodnight"
And that was that.
She's obviously trying to shuck her responsibility. They will find ways to validate themselves and nothing you can do about it. It's why you can't really talk about it with them or plead your case.
