Im in a similar boat in that just found out my wife is having an afair with her business partner. Im soon to be moving out of marital home for financial reasons. I know a lot say dont but she holds all the cards financially at the moment. As far as her realising her actions she will only see that when im gone. The splittling of family, although she looks like she doesnt care right now will be painful. Me not being there as her best friend which i still was right up to BD. Even now she is stil trying to be my best friend. I do majority of household chores. Ill no longer be there to pick that up. Will this drive her nearer to other man? maybe But i cant control what she does.
As far as NC and combatting the A its comes across from vets that there really isnt much you can do. Be civil upbeat and friendly when you are in contact. obvisuly no persuing begging pleasding andything that makes you look weak. No woman wants a weak man. Im done with being weak. Im moving on. Im not even sure myself that i want to be with her anymore. Think a lot of it is my pride. We all know the stats on Affairs. They very rarely work out. Affairs are built on lies and deceit. When it is exposed it generaly takes some of the shine off. If/when they have a proper normal open relationship then that is when you start seeing all the flaws in the other person. Sat there in their PJs rather than the sexy undies they wore on their once a week visit. They snore!! oh no they didnt do that before. They fart a lot. jees they never did that when we were sneaking around. They smoke! that never bothered me before but now.........its awful hs breath stinks. My child hates him........wow no wonder you broke a family apart for this guy..they just want their dad/mum back together. They are very messy.....i didnt notice that when i saw her for just a few hours. What happended to all the sex? See above, doubt they want much sex anymore with all the flaws they are both starting to see. So for me I am just going to let it run its course. They are in the fog and only they can come out of it. Anything i say will, to her justify her actions even more and reaffirm her decision to choose someone/something else. If im still around and she wants to work then who knows. As it stands im moving on, taking care of my daughter 50/50 split and going to get my old self back as I have wasted too much time already trying to fix something that cant be fixed. As one vet says, you have been given the gift of time. Use it. Do stuff you want to do for a change. If things work out with you both, great if not you will be a better and more attractive person. I truly believe that no matter what you see or feel now that one day the WAW in A looks back and thinks wtf have a i done. Was all that pain really worth it.
Stay on the boards, do what works for you read what the vets say
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
