So you have some time to gather yourself ... I too have become far more spiritual and grounded, I know just as much as the MLC destroyed my M and family ... it saved me. I have started to realize I am the Phoenix that is rising out from the ashes ... it took a long time for me, scary as he11 to be honest ... but thats who I am meant to be and I know without the MLC I would never have arrived here. There is a reason for you too ... you know that ... you are doing well ... turn this inward and begin to develop the new you.
Definitely trying to do that. It seems to be getting easier and easier every day that she isn't here. Unfortunately (did I really just say that?), she will be back in the middle of the week next week. I feel so good right now. I feel so much peace -- and I know some of that is coming from a lot of prayer and really beginning to just turn her and our marriage over to God while I focus on me and the kids. I have to keep this up and build up as much peace and strength as I can before she comes home next week. I really want to be in a place where nothing phases me when she walks in the door. I want to be in a place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually where I am fine regardless of who or what comes through the door.
The kids and I have a fun weekend planned and I am looking forward to that. My MIL & FIL are keeping the kids on Saturday night so I can go out to eat with some of my best friends -- and I am SO looking forward to that!
On another positive note... One of my 180s has been buying clothes that I normally wouldn't have in the past... And one thing I bought recently was a little black dress. I tried it on this morning and thought "Why didn't I ever buy or wear one of these a long time ago?! I look really good in this dress!" Of course, for a moment my thoughts went to my W and I wondered what, if anything, she might think if she saw me in it... But then I quickly moved on from that thought and just allowed myself to enjoy how I felt about wearing the dress... It was a huge self-esteem boost. And yeah, while I was concerned about my health after BD when I started rapidly losing weight -- Now that I've recently had an awesome annual checkup I am really enjoying that 25+ lb loss and how I look now... which is not too bad for a 44 year old. I might even be in the best shape that I've ever been since I was a teenager (thanks to the exercise I've been doing over the past couple of years) and it feels GREAT. If my W never wakes up and never wants me/us back then it's her loss :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
