The piece on 'why they run' was very informative and it helped me understand the motivations behind the desire to run/leave. When he raised the idea of living away from us, I could not help but feel rejected. Could not understand why he would want to be away from those people who loved him the most in his life. Sure, we've had those R talks that didn't go well, but all in all, we are family.
I don't know much about what it was like for him growing up but he was rather shy unlike his older brother. I get the sense that he feels he always fell short of his brother's achievements. H had said that the most important thing to him is achievement and I wonder if he blames us for having held him back. What does everyone think?
When explaining why he wanted to leave, he told me that we had a perception of who he is that's not who he really is....much like when he was living at home with his parents. His solution then, was to move out and live on his own like what he wants to do now.
I suppose that being with us is a reminder of what he has not been able to accomplish in his career and he feels a like a failure. Thus the fantasies about life with another woman.
The hardest part about all this is not knowing what the ultimate outcome is going to be. I keep thinking that this is a phase and that given enough time, he would just 'wake up' and realize that it is not the external things that give you happiness. I wish I can make him see that. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
