Hi LMW, I'm fairly new here so this is just my take on things (i've read all the posts on your sitch - quiet day at work lol).
She definatly sounds confused at the moment, which is probably why the mixture of emotions are spewing from her. Maybe this OM DID tell S6 to P off, but she doesn't want you to know about it and she's angry at him for doing that too. From what you say of him, it could be that she's realising the grass isn't greener etc. This is all speculation obviously, so careful monitoring seems to be in order.
I like the way you're handling all of this, you seem to be in control of your emotions regarding the R/M/OM, and are conducting yourself in the right way IMO.
As I say, my sitch is only 6 weeks since BD, and we have been pretty much NC in that time. I'm four years older than you but have been married three times as long (not that that makes any difference as such). There is currently no known OM in my sitch, but what I'm saying is that I hope (should one come along, which it will do if we don't R), I can conduct myself in a similar way to how you are.
I'll keep up with your sitch, and I'm rooting for you no matter what happens with your M.
Barry.
Me 40 W 38 T 23 M 21 S21 S19 D16 S14 BD 19/12/2014 D mentioned 27/2/2015. I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015
