Oh dear Pink - that's horrible. Would your H have been able to use his own account for this? It certainly doesn't sound appropriate for the joint account. H and I both have current accounts and the joint is used for family stuff.

I echo what RD has said. Do you know for sure he and she are using that hotel? I would also say - don't react. You already know they are having a PA. You don't need to confront any further. However, it sounds as though you will need to set a boundary on the use of this account. Maybe H didn't have sufficient funds in his own account to buy the room? (not trying to defend him, but just wondering...)

Sorry this is all a bit rotten. But as someone in an earlier post said - best to watch out for that anger, and just move forward with the plan you already have underway. This needn't change that plan, but may just strengthen your resolve to move forwards.

Sending best wishes and hugs to you.....(((((((PINK))))))))

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus