I have no idea whether she is annoyed by me being chatty, given what she has said before i suspect she is, at the same time i want to end the feeling i've had for a long time (since well before BD) that i have to walk on eggshells. I probably didnt but i felt like it and it was my conflict avoidance.
I guess i think that no matter what i say or do she will get angry - it seemed that way for the last few months. Since she will interpret whatever I say or do however she chooses to, I felt it was better to go with the approach that thinking back i would rather have had.
Dont know, maybe I have this all wrong....
As for NMMNG. It was really revealing to me and i'm glad i read it. I heard of it a few years ago but for some stupid reason over the title i didnt read it (felt i was too nice and didnt want to be not nice). wish i had. It does make an uncomfortable read for me though - especially as of late i've been having a lot of 'I wasnt that bad' thoughts and NMMNG takes me straight back with a solid 'yes you were' (the bits on the victim triangle and enmeshing nice guys particularly)
As for the exercises some of them like the thought based ones I've done the others i've more tried to incorporate into my DB plan. A few are a bit more tricky as they would involve a R conversation with my XW.
In terms of changes then they are a work in progress and at the moment about the way i view things or express things. trying to ditch expectations, trying to see the positives and be grateful, trying to express my feelings rather than my thoughts. I wouldnt say any of this have stuck permenantly yet though
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
