Why wouldn't anyone be afraid to be left? I really didn't think about it in terms of fear until she brought it up last year. I mean, i love her tremendously, we've been together for 1/2 our lives. Something like that doesn't just disappear.
B/c you are talking like a little boy is afraid of the dark. You are not sounding like a mature man who is secure in himself enough to know he would survive and move on and make the most of his life.....even learn to enjoy it.
Most of us may not choose or desire to live without our S, however, we are not paralyzed by the very thought of it. What kind of life do you have when you are walking on egg shells, afraid of saying or doing something that pi$$ her off and then she'll leave? I can tell you what kind......miserable!
You have become a second class citizen in your own home. You won't stand up to your grown daughter...who clearly shows you disrespect, and you won't stand up to your WAW...who clearly shows you disrespect. Is your grandchild a boy or girl? Doesn't matter, b/c you are teaching him/her what role the man plays. If he's a boy, he'll grow up to be like his grandfather who sits on pins & needles, enduring abuse from some woman. If she's a girl, she won't have a decent R with any man in her life, b/c she will believe he should lay down and allow her to walk on him.
We women want our man to be stronger than we are. I'm talking about an inner strength. We will test our man to see if he if he really has what it takes to stand up to us. If he's too weak, we lose attraction and respect for him. Will he get eyeball to eyeball with us and let us know he won't be a doormat, or say "Yes dear" and shut-up?
If you could just see how your thoughts are damaging and defeating yourself. How can you DB when you are so afraid that you just sit and wait, hoping things will get better in time. It is unhealthy, Frank.
Do you like to read? If so, there is a lot of self-help books out there.....not to mention what is on the Internet.
Thanks again for the tough love. I'm feeling much better today. Yesterday and the day before i was at a super super low point. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted, no sleep, no food and really close to imploding. I'm generally an emotional guy but i never really thought of myself as weak or living in fear before but after 25 and you brought it to my attention i wrapped my head around it. I finally got the DR book today and already read about 30% of it, i'm always in favor of bettering myself and always open to new things.
I know right now i need to pick myself up and take steps to better myself and move on. Like i said in my previous post, as dumb as it sounds going to a doctor is a major step for me. The next major steps will be making an appointment with a counselor (tomorrow) and then booking tickets to visit family (next week).
My wife knows i hate doctors and when she came home yesterday from work she saw the prescriptions laying there and asked about it and i told her i went to try and get myself sorted and the look on her face was partial bewilderment and partial happiness. I in no way did it for her, i did it for myself, but it made me realize that in a nutshell is what DB is all about. Make changes for yourself, hedge your bets. Worst case scenario i'll come out of this hellish period of my life a much better person, frank 2.0
Last edited by Frank75; 01/30/1504:14 AM.
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
