Frank, I haven't been on these boards in a long time and felt compelled to log on today, this place was a tremendous help to me. While you are going through one of the most tramatic experiences ever PLEASE hear the advice you are getting. I know it's hard, I do I was there, but there's hope. I know you have probably heard this a million times on here... INVEST in you! Who do you want to be? And become that. My W told me we would never get back together. She was a gazillion % sure moved out(for a year), new bank account, new friends etc etc. Well she came back and I realize that her leaving was the best thing to ever happen to me, not because I saw all the ways I wronged her but because it helped cultivate some positive habits in my life. She's totally in love with the man i've become, and more importantly I am too.
Learn to be comfortable with your presence, no one else can if you can't. Sandi is right, women are not attracted to weak men(not healthy women). You can do this! There is no failure only feedback. Oh and one other thing get out of your head, have 0 expectations. Hope you can glean something from this.
I hope it doesn't seem like i'm not listening, i am. I'm trying to absorb a ton of things at once and it's just a process to get through it all. And I take stories like yours to heart, i really do. For me this is like 12 days old and still a very fresh wound. Just yesterday i was calling a crisis hotline to try and deal with it.
Just an example, i NEVER go to the doctor...ever. I don't take drugs...ever...not even aspirin. For me to call a doctor for help with panic/anxiety, and then subsequently have a breakdown in the office while talking about it was the biggest jump i've taken in years. I know i have a ton of faults, and thanks to the people here i'm learning more about myself on a daily basis. I know i'm emotionally weak when it comes to my wife and i know i've let fear dictate a lot of things around my relationship. I just need to take it a day at a time and get over these hurdles and learn from past mistakes.
M:39 W:35 Married: 12 years Together: 16 years No kids D bomb: 1/17/15 Filed 1/29/15 Moving out 2/2015
