Oh Calibri, you're giving me another urge to hug someone on this board. I'm rough on you and likely contribute to this impression that it's all your fault. The truth is, you're the only part of this couple I can talk to, and you're the one who's willing to make it work. But I know it's not all your fault, especially as a sort of people pleaser myself. Your H is a "nice guy" of a strong breed, according to your descriptions. You're forceful and controlling. You were the two poles of a magnet, destined to match as soon as you got close. It probably felt so right at the time.
Your closing paragraph spoke to me because, like your H, my W thought that I was insensitive and indestructible. Yet, she's giving me suffering that expanded even my understanding of what it is to be human and alive. I hope I never will project that image of invulnerability again because it made me very vulnerable.
