KGirl - one year later con't

[KGirl]

I thought it had been awhile since I'd posted.. but I see it is only a week! Feels like the longest week ever. This may just be a venting post, we shall see...
The yucky stomach feeling of H actually filing has gone away. Now I would just like to get the business end of things done so that I don't have to deal with it anymore. Unfortunately H is not in a big hurry. He said he wasn't going to talk to an L or look at any of the forms we need to fill out until he got his car fixed, which may happen by the weekend. I'm not sure how not having a car prevents him from looking at a form online, but whatever. I'm trying to balance letting him do as much of the work as possible vs. not letting this drag on for months longer than it has to.

I'm also very frustrated that I still have many logistical things to take care of for the D, even though I didn't want it. Bank accounts to cancel, phone plans to change, paperwork to fill out and submit, all of which I have to participate in and H can't do alone. I HATE it. That's not even getting into a name change, which for work is going to be a huge hassle (all of our electronic systems involve user IDs based on your last name). And H and my's different ways of handling this do not help. For example, I would like to file taxes as soon as I have all of my stuff available (so, now). H would wait until April and then get stuck and huff and puff about how he doesn't have time to look up the rules, complain about how it works, yell, etc. He suggested we file separately and said it shouldn't be an issue that we both either itemize or use the standard deduction because we have mortgage interest and property taxes to deduct. Well, I only paid half of 4 months worth of those things, and when I when I put in my info online to see at first blush what it looked like, I OWED money. I have never had to owe $ for taxes before. I can't even deduct my student loan interest under that filing status, so it s*cks. I'm considering just asking H if we can file jointly and he can just keep the whole refund, because at least that would be better than me paying.

So on top of all this stuff for the D (for which paperwork is supposed to be submitted by April 2... not sure what happens if it isn't and I hope I don't need to find out), I also have:

-a trip to Florida planned for the last week in March with my mom and sisters. My mom has already said that she doesn't know how to do things like rent cars, plan excursions, etc., and wants us to do that. As the oldest (the other sisters are 26 and 17) I think that will fall largely on my shoulders.

-being MOH in a friend's wedding in March

-being MOH for my sister's wedding in August

To summarize: I'm feeling super overwhelmed. The D, a name change, spring break trip, weddings. I'm trying to take Maybell's advice of not eating the whole elephant... but I don't even know what portion of it to carve off first and start with - the trunk, the tail? (Is that taking the metaphor too far?) For example, I feel like I should start thinking about a shower for my friend's wedding. But then I think "well the D paperwork is due before that, I should try and fill out as much as I can without H's help". And then I think "actually, maybe I should look up rental car stuff and compare rates for our spring break trip." And then I just get paralyzed and do nothing, because I'd really rather just watch TV and have a snack.

Oh, and I live in Wisconsin. Our governor has put out his budget proposal and it doesn't look good for where I work (University of Wisconsin). People are concerned about layoffs, the quality of our institutions, being overworked and underpaid. So work is not a happy place to be right now. But hey, the budget includes millions of dollars for the Bucks arena...

It feels lonely right now. And stressful, and overwhelming, but at least I don't have an interest in reaching out to H for comfort or support because I know he can't be that. He is all about reliving his high school glory days right now, apparently - he regularly drives an hour each way back to his home town to help "coach" high school wrestling and watch the tournaments.

I know I need to stop complaining and feeling sorry for myself and just GET ON IT and get some of these things taken care of, but for some reason I'm just stuck in this funk right now. It's too late for me to say no to any of these things, and I can say no to anything new that comes up, but the over-commitment already exists.