Susana (2) - Learning to detach

[susana4]

Ok, so tonight went much better than last night, except that I nearly got reactive (but stopped myself) but he has this uncanny ability to detect even the slightest shift in my mood (he always has done) which I'm finding VERY difficult to deal with while DB-ing.

We had a nice, friendly chat when he got home and he told me a little bit about his work concerns. I listened and validated as best as I could, and held back from advising him on what to do or offering suggestions and just listened. Then he asked me to watch TV with him and I agreed. I asked him to wait a few minutes because I wanted to get ready, and I was making myself a hot water bottle and I suddenly got very annoyed that he didn't really seem concerned about me being ill. That is so unlike him, but moreover, I felt like he wasn't even being a *very good friend*, even though I was treating him like one, he hadn't even bothered to ask me how I was feeling or if he could get me anything.

I could tell I was about to get angry, so I went into the other room to cool down for a bit, and felt I did a pretty good job, but he immediately started questioning me "what's going on? Why are you angry at me?" and even though I insisted I wasn't angry, he then started to get annoyed. It ended okay in the end, because I just said "I'm not angry, I'm just feeling really off and under the weather" and he seemed to believe that. I don't really understand how he's so perceptive of my moods, but he always has been (it used to kind of freak me out when we were first together, because it was like he always knew what I was thinking!), and it's making it very hard to "act as if" and not show anger.