May the page . :)

[Ggrass]

That might work! What are you doing on the weekend?

Go for coffee with you! Lol

God you guys are good.

I better go to sleep before gan kicks me tusshy! It's past 11.

[Ggrass]

I thought about my weekend response when someone asked what i am doing.

I think perhaps wildly humours and out there works bettera than saying sat home alone.

What I came up with was one I use with my mates....


Well Fabio might just turn up and wisk me off to a deserted Island, but so far he's keeping that one a huge suprise. I doubt even he knows! Lol

If I get blank looks I go for the whole I can't believe its not butter. Those in my age group get that one, young uns don't.

Really I think meeting people where they are at be it the local supermarket, the servo or in your day to day life works better.

It was cold last night the hounds demanded over Coats for bed. a preview of winter is here.

[jim0987]

we had snow, a whole inch or so and so the country ground to a halt. our north american brethren must just find it comical what we struggle with over here.

You know you could take a lead with some of these guys - a lot of guys will go they just need help with the 'in' (and that sooo reads like a euphamism if ever I read one)

ahem...

so anyway if the question comes up about the weekend you could take the plunge and say - A few things planned but I might go to XXXXXX to get some coffee and as the biscuits are amazing.

this might be enough of an hint but you could be less subtle and add a 'do you fancy joining me'

[edz]

A whole inch.....help with the in......

You're just asking for trouble there matey

[Ggrass]

Oh dear had an extremely fun day at work, the Cute dude came in waved and kept going! Didn't even get to speak to him.

It seems gg has worked magic, but it seems slow to appear.

One of the testicle brigade came in, he was asked lots to come to the pub, he has wibbly wobbly excuse each time. Today he was threatening to actually turn up, but not this week. Insert a rolly eye smiley. He was threatening to keep me in line,as he'd heard we get rowdy! I encoruaged his daughter to buy w bulk packet of smarties. He was bouncing back, first time I had seen it with him. I thought he was truely broken. He's a school chum of work besties.

Anywho rhc came in, no kids so he was keen to be friendly. Mind you after mrs xrhc warning me how horrible he was I could barely contain my grin. Nope I didn't tell him she came in. I think I might have been sort of sounded out?

He asked if I was going to x event sat?
Um crap that's not in my script but working so just said nup stuck here.
Afterwards few crickets chirped!

I froze for about 3 nano seconds which felt like forever.
Then changed the topic, dang why did I do that?

What I should done was invited him to our pub dinner, why weren't you all in the back of my head calling out to me! I thought of that much later.

Dumb shocked brain, I used to think really quickly move and flex with the flow. Blah can't seem to do it in a natural way.

Oh well next Friday! There's always next Friday.

[gan]

He he he. I love the thought of Gg with her big grin and Jim, Edz, V and me standing behind, poking saying "Do it! Do it! Do it!"

You'll get it Gg. If not next week then the week after.

[Ggrass]

I know but we are all our worst enemy!

I'm not even sure what I thinks ok surrounding dates, even if plutonic.

And if it's considered an a, or what the whole thing is give my h hasn't spoken in months and basically in r terms decided to go out for milk and is just done.

Well he's been with ow since oct 13 well over a year. He is just done, every communication out of him is I'm done. He has re written History to the point I hardly recognise our life. He isn't even the same man, others don't recognise the man.


I'm not a ons person so that's clear.

But what's the norms for plutonic dates, with a view to finding someone?
Can you just go with the flow, of who asks when?
Can you be friends with a few?
How far til it becomes ea?

I've never had more than one person ever be interested at once, can you tell?
I have no idea what's consider socially aceptable.

[jim0987]

well whats ok regarding dates is entirely up to you and how you feel

I dont think there are norms about plutonic dates.

personally i think there are a lot of people looking for a connection that they enjoy and adds positively to their life, I also think we put to many rules and 'games' in about how we should act or what the best way to approach is.

all the games do is limit our options and make things more difficult, if you are always going to wait to be asked then you are limiting yourself to those guys that are confident enough to ask AND happen to be in the right frame of mind at exactly the time they see you.

So socially acceptable? I think as long as you are honest and friendly then its socially acceptable. If they cant see past that then chances are its not a good option anyway

[gan]

I really have no idea how I would (will) approach this either. But let's just bring it into perspective for a sec. It's COFFEE. I think you are perfectly entitled - given the current situation - to have a coffee with someone. Call it a date if you want to, but why put the pressure on yourself?

H is still off seeing where OW leads - 15 months later. If he turns around and calls you out on having COFFEE with someone (and I don't think he will) then that says something, no?

The only person you have to meet expectations of right now is YOU. What can you live with Gg? What do you want? Figure that our first and then make it happen.

[Ggrass]

I know re h, he didn't even send Christmas wishes etc. Not that I did.

I have laid eyes on him since mediation end of September, business text only since March last year. Nearly a year, he doesn't contact.

So I doubt he will, although it's an even money bet. He was really annoyed when xw hooked up and we had been together for quite a while they had been apart nearly 2 years at that stage. I suspect these contacts I have had by others fishing for info is from him.

I was thinking before low key dinners at pub with mates. Bringing along who ever asked.

What I know are no ons, no fast hooks ups?? I think I have trust issues re affair.
I want to know person, I want better more recipcial r.

Turns out h wanted things one sided and now being out I see it was. More give and take.

I hesitating on rhc, he acts different when his boys are there, like he cannot be seen talking to me.

This has triggered me a bit as h, refused to put me and my needs before hs25. It kind of felt like mmmm he cares more about what the "boys" care about than being friendly. Even when it's in a natural setting.

It's also could be ego driven from my end, something I wanted forever ago, now is looking my way.

I worry also about picking someone simlar to both h, both really don't take respsonabilty for their actions well. Both were a bit unavailable emotionally in different ways.

H was too busy and couldn't show support, xh just couldn't be present and show feelings.

Neither could understand ll.