Peace of mind. Stop pretending. Stop living a lie to cover up what she is doing. But it would feel wrong. I need more patience and more love. I'm extremely depressed today. And I don't feel like it's going to benefit me. But I'm having a terrible terrible day again today. I just don't want to live like this anymore...I'm crying my ass off writing this. It's so hurtful. I probably shouldn't go to any family invitations anymore. It was ok, I did a good job there but it made me so sad today.
My mom is so heartbroken too. She even thinks if ahe tells my grandparents they will get a heart attack. There are a lot more broken hearts than mine. It is wearing so hard on me. I just gotta stay strong...
Go to the gym. Do at least 30 minutes of cardio and preferably some weights after it.
If you are into martial arts, do some sparring sessions with others. You need to get control of yourself.
Everytime you think about it or get drawn in you lose control of yourself.
