Strong EA after 2yrs M - trying to detach. #3

[Complex]

Peace of mind. Stop pretending. Stop living a lie to cover up what she is doing.
But it would feel wrong. I need more patience and more love. I'm extremely depressed today.
And I don't feel like it's going to benefit me. But I'm having a terrible terrible day again today. I just don't want to live like this anymore...I'm crying my ass off writing this. It's so hurtful. I probably shouldn't go to any family invitations anymore. It was ok, I did a good job there but it made me so sad today.

My mom is so heartbroken too. She even thinks if ahe tells my grandparents they will get a heart attack. There are a lot more broken hearts than mine. It is wearing so hard on me. I just gotta stay strong...