Remember, us guys do have that inherent "rubber band" thing anyway (read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"). So it could be nothing more than that. Also, anyone who's cake-eating is going to pout and pull back if you stop being their dutiful backup plan, too.
Men are natural pursuers (the other part of the rubber band) . . . leave him be and be mysterious and all "Hey, this wasn't want I wanted, but I realize now that I'll survive" upbeat (without being annoyingly so).
Make sense?
Starsky
Oh, is that where the rubber band thing is from?! A friend told me about it but I had no idea it was from that book. I've got the book on my reading list (along with about a million others I've seen on this forum - don't know when I'll get a chance to read all of them!).
Yep, that makes sense. Thank you SO much for your invaluable advice, Starsky. Really appreciate it!
I suppose I may have not given it long enough to start measuring if it's working, at any rate. Looking at it realistically, it's only in the last couple of weeks he's pulled back more (since I have).
I have never actually stated anything along the lines of "Hey, this wasn't want I wanted, but I realize now that I'll survive." I went straight from begging/pleading mode into DB-ing, so the last R talk we had, in December, ended with me logically trying to convince him he was doing something crazy, and saying something along the lines of "but if you feel like you've lost yourself in every relationship then what's to say you won't lose yourself in the next? You need to be yourself, and be in a relationship, and face your fears, in order to overcome that." I believe that was the last R talk we had, right before I read DR and stopped all R talks. So, do I need to actually come out and say "this isn't what I want but I know I'm going to be ok?" Or can I safely assume he will "get it" from my actions? Actions speak louder than words, anyway...
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
