Toots is moving forwards..

[Sotto]

As you may recall, when we S, I left our marital home and stayed with my parents for a 5 months before renting this flat. We have a family home and a business flat in the city - both of which H use atm. Neither are in locations where I want to be right now.

H paid me some cash for a 6 month rental, and told me I need to be self sufficient after that. Apart from that comment, he's been pretty helpful about money, and we still have an active joint account that only he pays into and I use on a modest basis with his agreement. I have funds for another 9-12 months or so of renting.

I'm working on a freelance basis for old friends, which has been great. The earnings are covering my non-rent living expenses. The work is flexible and I'm enjoying it. It keeps my hand in professionally - but means I don't have to do my usual 'stressful' work for a bit. Plus, what I'm doing will 'read' well if/when I look for more permanent work.

I know returning to my 'home town' where I was born, and near my parents, has been good emotionally for me. I don't know how I would have coped otherwise. In hindsight, I'm also glad that SS hasn't been disrupted from his weekend home.

But, the clock is ticking. Financially, I'd like to be in a position to buy somewhere later this year. But I'm worried about opening up the money discussion with H, as it may lead to the D discussion. Equally, it feels unfair for him to remain in our marital home, which we bought and own 50/50 in the longer term.

So, it's a bit of a push (financial), pull (emotional) situation and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to push for financial reasons if I'm not emotionally ready. Equally, I don't want to be financially insecure in the much longer term. L advice is that we could seek to agree S terms, but the only way to 'force' a settlement of £ matters is through D proceedings. Any thoughts?