Strong EA after 2yrs M - trying to detach. #3

[Complex]

(When) Is it actually ok to let the spouse know that you actually know way more than they think you do? In my case that means she only knows that I read her and OM text casual flirting. But she doesn't know that I know her whole exit strategy ultimately is to be together with him.

DB coach advice: what's the benefit? What does this do?
I'm actually not sure how to answer this.

If you don't how to answer the coach's question, then I suggest you are not prepared, in the slightest, to confront your WAW. The confrontation itself doesn't accomplish anything when there is nothing else to use. It simply puts her on guard to be sneakier in the future. And why the need to let her know that you know more than she thinks you do. Ego? It is really to your advantage that she isn't aware that you know anything, at the moment.

When or if you do confront her, you'd better understand about boundaries b/c you will certainly get an opportunity for application.

She is sneaker already since last confrontation.
It's not about the confrontation itself, more about that i don't know for how much longer I can/want to live in the limbo without her having ANY consequences whatsoever.
I do my own thing and GAL but the rest she's completely dictating silently.