I'm just utterly gutted right now :(

[Frank75]

Hey Frank, wanted to chime in here about the fear. One of the things that's been helping me is the definition of courage. As it was explained to me years ago by someone I admired: Courage is the ability to face a fear head on and still move forward.

This is a scary as hell time in our lives. I feel the fear daily, and at the same time it's getting easier to deal with. Understand that your fear comes from the fact you love your wife. She is your world. Embrace it. Then keep moving on. By being here you have taken the first step towards facing that fear and seeking advice on how to move forward.

Really take a look at yourself and see what parts of you that you don't like. Accept the fact that you contributed to where you are and then beginning changing those things you are not proud of. Become the better person. Become the man a woman would be a fool to leave.

Thanks for the encouragement man, it means a lot. I'm in the process of trying. I'm calling a counselor that my dr referred me to today and trying to make plans to fly out to visit my parents. My dr thinks it's a great idea for me and to give me wife 2+ weeks of solitude.