Hey bro. A lot of times when they cheat on you they will hate you so they don't hate themselves. It's normally not intentional, but the human mind does it as a way to protect itself. She will validate her choices and in by doing so invalidate you.
That's why you can't really talk to them and shouldn't try to appease them.
You can let them go on and discover they made a bad decision or not.
I just wrote about this on twinmom's thread; I'll pull it over from there for you:
Quote:
And, fwiw, H and I had a discussion about this just last weekend. He said essentially this (all, btw, which we here already know, but it's good to hear it from the mouth of a XWAS, especially one who doesn't read the literature enough to know what it all says about how a WAS operates; in other words, these are H's own thoughts, uninfluenced by any literature on this subject):
Waywards in As are typically not "in love" with their A partners. At least not at first. They're in love with how the A partner makes them feel about THEMSELVES. Eventually, once the AP has stroked their ego for so long, the LBS looks worse and worse. Anger and resentment build and grow. Still, the WAS knows what s/he is doing is wrong. So they say mean, unfair - and outright UNTRUTHFUL - things to and about their LBS in an effort to ... here's the money shot ... make THEMSELVES look better for doing what they're doing.
An observation I hope you'll take to heart, dwnnoto: Read back through your two most recent posts. In one, you detailed seeing W. And it sent you spiraling. In the second, you saw she was still at home, and you decided to go off and wait until she left. And you felt good and even, I would imagine, a little powerful. You were in control of YOU. That feels good.
Do you see how easy that is?
Remember that feeling of being in control of yourself. And what it took to feel that way. Rinse and repeat.
Oh, and I would encourage you not to shy away from entering your own home while W is there. It's your home. You aren't the one who left.
Control yourself powerfully during this phase so she cannot even make her self look better so she gets a real good taste of reality.
Dress good, look clean, find somethings you've been interested in doing.
Like I said, I found that partnered dancing, for me it's Salsa and Merengue allowed me to feel a great deal of my masculinity without having to physically consummate with someone. It's good for your soul.
