Jim0987 #11 - Mk8's user manual needs some work

[jim0987]

I had a good day with the kids yesterday and I liked it (we made pancakes, did sticking and glittering, turned the lounge furniture into a pirate ship etc etc.)

The cheap canvas of the internet arrived and looks alright though i've not put it up yet.

Mindfulness practice is getting tricky - i'm losing focus and wandering off in my thoughts so need to up the discipline a bit)

I texted my wife last night about something D3 was doing - didnt get a response but didnt expect one. my mind did immediately jump to imagining her being cuddled up with OM1 though.

I had cold and business like email about money from her late tuesday (to my work email after i'd left so didnt get it til this morning). zero warmth just 'the bill is XXXXX so you need to give me XXXXX'

I responded with a more chatty and friendly response (how are you? the kids were great yesterday, hope your having a good week etc.)

Not sure if this is the right thing to do but i dont want to meet cold indifference and hostility with cold indifference and hositility. I'd rather be warm and welcoming. I dont think it was pursuit.

I thought for the most part I had dealt with my anger and let a lot of it go and to an extent I feel I have but i realised that i still have a lot of anger about a sense of injustice. Not the decision so much although that upsets me and the sense of powerlessness isnt great either. The anger is about what she is saying and the way she describes me.

The 'He just so horrible' and the 'He's controlling, abusive and mean' really hurt and i'm offended by the 'Money grabbing little £$%£' - basic maths shows this last one just isnt true - anxious about financial security yes, bit too envious of other peoples wealth, yes but not money grabbing.

And no matter how I slice it i dont think that questioning statements that simply dont make logical sense (and/or are outright lies) is abusive. If i'm wrong about that then please someone give me a 2x4 to the face because if it is then at the moment my wife is right when she says 'He just doesnt get how shocking his behaviour is'

So yes turns out i'm still quite angry about this.