Ok, I have two back-to-back appointments tomorrow with attorneys.
Today is paperwork gathering day. Tax returns (this is something he never even shows me, I'm not sure why but tax documents are secretive with him so I'm not even sure how to get a hold of them), retirement statements, bank statements, house info.
I feel like the sound of impending divorce is the sound of industrial strength Velcro ripping apart. Unsticking ourselves from each other while desperately holding onto your side.
I woke up in a sweaty panic. I may need to talk to my doc about anxiety meds. I was up at 4 am and could not turn my brain off from the panic of money and moving and getting a job and, and, and.
I know, I know, I can hear all of you saying to stop eating the elephant and to slow down and not live so far into the future but I'm realizing that security and stability are HUGELY important to me and crucial to lowering my anxiety levels and panic.
Even once I talk to these attys and get a feel for financial calculations I worry that stbx's forgetful brain will forget to write the check (he's notorious for forgetting things like this for WEEKS!!) and I don't want to have to nag him. I'm afraid of him saying things like, "you don't really need that much money and it's so hard on me to pay it out, blah, blah, blah..."
uR, you're right about finding a strong team who will fight for me should stbx decides to fight hard. And frankly, I see him doing just that, spurred on by his parents. I will definitely find out the attorneys "bull-dog" level.
My questions list is short. I need help there if you're able.
Here they are in no particular order:
1. What is your proposed strategy for my case?
2. Timeline?
3. How many people will be on my case and will any one of them be available when I need them?
4. How will you charge me? What is the fee schedule?
5. Other than atty costs, what other costs are there and what are they estimated to be?
6. How well acquainted are you with the judges in the area and if my case goes to mediation, how well acquainted are you with the retired judges in the area?
7. How do you handle cases where the opposing party is angry, feisty and often never wrong?
8. What will the tax effect be in my case.
9. Custody - most fair for parents but least bouncing around of Emma
What else?????
And about this talk with stbx. Can I just skip that?
He wants to sit down and talk with me about heading toward D. If I am to go to just listen, agree to nothing and take away information to think about...
then it's not a NEW conversation. I know where he stands. He, however, does not know where I stand. Do I tell him? I have NO IDEA how to handle myself. If I'm going to just listen the conversation will be 5 minutes long.
STBX: So, hey, still want a divorce. It's best. Me: I hear what you're saying. STBX: So, shall I file? Me: I need sometime to think all this over.
What? What's the point of meeting at all? I think my brain is clouded with severe amounts of adrenaline. Help me work this out here.
