Wife having emotional affair 5

[3kids]

I wanted to elibarate on GB's going dark.

As far as me going dark. Back in December I went totall dark. Where I didn't answer anything or talk to her. Except at kid exchange. And that was more personal then anything. I needed more detachment. And I achieved that. I think I'm proabably as dark as I can be. I don't call her for anything. Not really kid stuff either. I don't keep her in the loop as far as their affairs go, school or sports. I don't answer all phone calls or texts. Unless they pertain to kids or house questions. When she does call and she switches the convo to her feelings. I validate some but not all. Like this weekend when she said that she wished she could have went with us to the Twins Fest. Nothing came out of my mouth. I just changed the subject. When she discusses her resent concusion. I did validate alittle. And I got great responses. But that is it. Other wise it's PMA and straight business. I don't hang around to talk to her at games or drop offs. If she shows up she comes and sits by me. I never to her. I guess the point I'm trying to make is. If your as far along as me you can't use going dark to make them think about your sich. It's more about detachment. If your detached enough where you don't have any expectations. Why not have a corgal convo with them, if it's about the kids or business. Nothing about personal life though.

As far as my back up comment. I am sorry, it sounded kind of rude. I just think that all of us LBS spouses are kind of a back up plan to some extent. We are the ones trying to hang on to their marraige. Even though our partners are having affairs. Where I bet most people would not fight for it and move on. We hold onto some hope that our spouse will come to their senses and drop OM/OW and fight for our marriages. But you are right on me. My hope has deminished a lot and more reality has set in. It would take an aweful lot for me to take back my wife. But as of now the option is still there. Mainly because I just can't see myself ever telling my kids that I was the one who wanted the divorce, yet.

Thanks
3kids