This can't be the end! #2

[hjoseph]

Barry,
I am new here and not as knowledgeable as the veterans like Train, Sandi and Starsky. However, I have been reading theirs posts for months and the consistent message has been to give yourself time, this is not for her but for you and what you need to do will be counterintuitive to what you want to do.

We all understand what you are going through for we've been there. Don't focus so much to what W is doing and what she might be thinking. It will drive you insane and of course to where DB/DR is taking you.

To answer your concerns:
-The W you knew is gone. Your past with her is the past. She does not care about what you guys been through together. She is focused on her future and so should you.
-W is sending you clear signals through her actions. She does not need to make it explicit nor does she want to. You need to reply back to the messages/signals she is sending you with actions of your own. I call it mental jiu jitsu.
-To reiterate the veterans, the skills you will learn here will change you and not her. It will change how you interact with her and that will change the way she interacts with you because she is not used to the new you. She is expecting you to react or act like how you've always had in the past.

You asked what to do different. I hate to say this, but situation will dictate what you need to do. Do the basic until you notice the changes in her caused by the changes you've made to yourself. You will notice that your actions will cause her to come closer to you. Found out which action caused that by monitoring and continue to do what works.

The skills thought here will lead you feel like the Barry before M or close to it. Independent and confident Barry. You will cease to wonder about W. You will start enjoying your new life and other women will take notice of your confidence. You might even start feeling attracted to other women. Everyone around you will notice the new you. Your W will notice and she might even be attracted to the new you. W might even ask herself : did I make the right choice by leaving my H?

This is marathon and not a sprint. Continue the course and good luck.

Disclaimer: I maybe way off base. I am a newbie. I am still learning from the vets. They might even correct some of what I said.