This can't be the end! #2

[Barry]

Thanks for linking the old/new threads Cadet.
There were a few posts on my old one after I made this so for those that are avidly following my sitch, here's the link..

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2531819&page=10

Thanks Toots and Theoden for your input on the list I made. I see what you mean about the "never" part in No.4 - ("Never again will I open my heart to anyone the way I have previously"). I agree that it should probably be more like "It will take time and effort to trust anyone again". It just doesn't feel that way right now.

Sorry everyone, I'd love to be able to just post about myself and my future on this new thread but I can't at the moment.
That day will come, but as it stands (and as sad and pathetic as it sounds) I'm really finding it hard to envisage a future without my W.

There's no change at all in my sitch. My W wouldn't notice (or probably care either) if I disappeared in a puff of smoke.
In fact, it feels like she would probably throw a party.

The most frustrating thing for me is that we've been together all of our adult lives, she's the mother of my children and after everything we've been through, all the hardships and good times, to treat me like this is obviously a deliberate attempt to goad me into feeling anger towards her so that it makes the whole process easier (for her).

Don't get me wrong, I do have a spine, and balls. It's more that I know anger won't help the situation any more than the begging, pleading, crying etc won't. The more time goes by with us being S though, the higher the chance of an OM coming along becomes.
I'm not a violent man, but I am capable of it and I'm worried I won't be able to control myself if/when that happens.
I'm certainly much more likely to get like that rather than sit back and let some guy F*** my wife whilst they laugh at me.

More than anything, It's her indifference to the whole sitch that's killing me right now.
She doesn't want to see me, speak to me, text me, message by carrier pigeon/smoke signals...nothing.

I know I can't because it's pursuing and it'll push her away even more (that's not actually possible), but all I can think about it asking her to meet with me so I can be with her, even if for only a few moments. I haven't initiated any contact at all either.

I'm (STILL!!) waiting for DB to come in the post, but I've read on this forum several times to "Do what works". This radio silence is clearly not working, she's just forgetting about me and hoping that I forget about her and our M and "get over it".
It'll be 6 weeks on Friday since BD, in which time we've had little to no contact and hardly spoken about the R or M at all.

My questions for today are, how long should this go on for before doing something different, and what should that be?
Is there anything I CAN actually do, apart from just moving on and writing off all my hopes and dreams?

Barry.