Strong EA after 2yrs M - trying to detach. #3

[susana4]

Sorry, somehow missed your more recent posts! Glad to hear the dinner went okay.

I got another question that is bugging me that I disnt talk to my DB coach about:

(When) Is it actually ok to let the spouse know that you actually know way more than they think you do? In my case that means she only knows that I read her and OM text casual flirting. But she doesn't know that I know her whole exit strategy ultimately is to be together with him.

DB coach advice: what's the benefit? What does this do?
I'm actually not sure how to answer this.

As for this, I'm still a newbie myself, but I think if you can't answer what the benefit is, or whether it will get your further towards your goal - then don't do it. Maybe if at some point you do discover the benefit (although I don't see how it would benefit) then you can tell her at that point.