Strong EA after 2yrs M - trying to detach. #3

[susana4]

DB coaching session was very upbeat and positive with Denise. She gave me good advice on how to deal with certain situations. I'll for sure share my knowledge here. A lot of advice is based on "memorizing/writing down what works...and then DO what works", pulling back when it doesn't. and she noticed that some of the things I did already ARE working.
And we talked about how detaching feels like. You become the "observer"...that's wheh you know you are detached. Of course it's an up and down but it's the principle.

Right after I went to my new therapist. Didn't take long until I found out she's not a MC. She's a therapist specialized in depression. She was very nice and I like her. But yeah, I have a major depression sounds like. And not since yesterday. She recommended I should take anti depressants...for the phase I'm in right now. Focus of the therapy will be me, and me only. She can give me a little bit advice on R questions but that's not her expertise and she encouraged me to continue DBing parallel and have my DB coach while she'll be working with me on my depression.
I'll give it a shot and trust her. As long as it feels "right" and it's helping me to become the old live loving complex again it's not going to do any harm.

Of course the new developments circle in my head. But even Denise had positive comments about what's happening but encouraged me to focus on myself only and whatever I do I should give a thought "what's the benefit from this"? It's a good technique to dig deeper before you act or interact with your WAW.

Tonight I'm invited for dinner at W's grandma, with W. Denise said she's def tending towards me taking the invitation. Stay cool, interact with the family and stay neutral towards my W. Or I could ask my W how she feels about me coming because I don't want to make her uncomfortable because I respect that it is her family.

Good day.

Hi Complex, I'm only partially caught up with the most recent developments in your sitch but it's good you're using a DB coach (I just started with Denise too!). Hope you find it helpful.

It's also good you are seeing a therapist. Sorry I'm a little behind things here, you were hoping to see an MC but got an individual counsellor? That's still good though I think, going along with DB principles you need to focus on yourself right now, and making the changes you need to make to you. Do you think you will go for the anti depressants?

As for going to dinner at her grandma's, I don't think you should worry too much about W's feelings - that's just focusing on her and not you, right? Let her own her own feelings. Did W's grandma invite you? If so, you have every right to be there IMO. Good luck and let us know how it goes, if you go.