I am also singularly task focused, not able to have too many things going on. I either work on me or the M, not both.
Can you walk and chew gum at the same time? . I am a very multitask person, so that is a strange concept for me to understand how you see the two not overlap to a large degree. In other words, if you really changed, it would influence the MR. The MR can show you the areas you need to change.
If that is the case, how do hold down a job? How do you teach/train your children? Your MR would always suffer if you could not work on it as you work on other areas of your life.
Quote:
I told my W that I really enjoyed one night when after being out with her friends she called and asked if she could come over. We had a beer and slept in the same bed, me with my arm around her and her holding it. It felt so great and powerfully loving.
Her response put me into perspective very clearly. She said "yeah, but you couldn't be satisfied with that, you kept needing more."
Please get this! Do you understand how serious this one change could make such a major difference in your MR? When she feels she is giving all that she can for that point & time.......you shoot it down b/c you want more, more, more, more and more. This will not work with a WAW, I promise you. You need to get your sh't together about this.
Quote:
W said we do better separated because I am not focused on fixing the R, but on just me. She is right. The trouble is that now it seems I am out of my second, third, or fourth chances.
Most people do not have a second chance, much less three or four. If you continue to make the same mistakes b/c you have not changed........what do you really expect from her?
Quote:
I do need more to grow and change. I think she is right that I would not or can not change when we are together in the same house.
So when you R, you will be focused on the M again and fall back into the same on patterns......b/c you can't focus on improving yourself and the M at the same time. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but this just looks like you are finding excuses. I don't remember anyone saying they are so singular task based they can't work on themselves and their M. If that were true, then your M would stifle every other area in your life.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
. I am a very multitask person, so that is a strange concept for me to understand how you see the two not overlap to a large degree. In other words, if you really changed, it would influence the MR. The MR can show you the areas you need to change.
If that were true, then your M would stifle every other area in your life.