Strong EA after 2yrs M - trying to detach. #3

[Complex]

Ya. I live from day to day, circle around and still get hung up on little things.
Maybe my therapy can help me to work on that.

The dinner with W and grandma/dad was pleasant actually. I was the best person I could've been, listened more than I talked, was very confident and positive.
But it did NOT help to detach. W was just playing along, and we actually had sort of real conversations again...but don't know how much of it was 'real' or maybe just 'habit'.
I also saw how good of an anker her family is for her. Once she decides to tell them, if she does, I don't even know how she will do that. It's gonna be very very awful. It was a little bit awkward on the way home but I just shut up mostly and it was ok. But then she's texting wildly at every single traffic light which made me kinda curious if OM started to text her again and I got mad. I still can't get that out of my head.
Self control is another very important DB attribute!!! (And I need more of it)^^


Yes Mozza, very good and simple point: the love is gone. And as long as it is, there won't be any sort of R. I can't force these feelings to come back to her, but I can silently fight for it. I understand it's going to be a long long fight. Sometimes I just ask myself where am I going to get the patience from? I just have to see the big picture and stop focusing on every detail, that's a big mistake I do right now.

Taking on real DBing is a true act of love and non-selfishness in your life. And it might all be for a different reason we started with, because we might still end up alone or with a whole different person one day. And sometimes we ask ourselves if we really want to do this..if we have the energy.

But in the end it's also an act of love for ourselves!