Firstly, I just implemented a new plan. I've written down 5 things I want in my life. They're specific but with general timelines. I read them everyday and guess what... They're going to come to fruition.
Thoughts create. Write your goals down in a positive way, post them where only you'll see them every single day. Read them. They'll come about, or your goals will change. Watch that happen.
Secondly, I want you to get to a place where he is not in your head. Everything you're doing has his voice in your ear. He has a hold on you even when he's not around. Break out of that and find your own voice in your ear. Put it there consciously. Push him out.
Before you sit down to work, grab a pad, a big one, and write every thought that pops into your head about your situation, about him, about what you're afraid of, about what your heart is telling you - write it down. This might be emotional but that's ok, take the time to do it. THEN, put it aside and WORK. You don't need to continue to think about your situation because you just did. The situation won't change with more analysis and thought and worry. In fact, it works better the other way. Give it less energy and it'll slowly unfold. Hold it and grasp it and think about it and it stays stagnant.
You may need to do this every hour, fine. But get it out. Something magical happens when our thoughts have to travel through our fingers onto paper. Leave them there.
In other news, I'm glad you love your house. What a great refuge for you and the kids. It's so important right now to love what surrounds you. That's just wonderful!!
