Fair enough, Freddy. I hope the slap didnt hurt too much....but good call.
So, here's what I'm thinking..since you are open to the possibility of maybe reconciling one day, try not to shoot yourself in the foot right now, ya know?
By that I mean, no on the cuddling and telling her you havent decided what you want. Just because...
The dancing into confusing territory can end up causing more pain than you realize. My ex was sending me all kinds of confusing signals. We even kissed one night. He thought it was all ok as long as he didn't sleep with me. Ya all ok until you start dating someone else after leading me on.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Very good point, Karma. Right now I feel independent and strong, but I'm sure it would hurt if I found out she was seeing someone again right now. You and uR make a great case for ceasing the cuddling and minor physical contact. I'll go back to her being a friendly neighbor, with whom I definitely would not cuddle.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
This is an amazing 1.5 minute video. I thought of everyone here (including myself) with every word he says. It is part Headspace, part everything the vets say here when it comes to stress:
Went to church with WAW yesterday for the first time in months. Then we went clothes shopping for D2 for a bit afterwards. We were going to go to the gym together, but WAW has been feeling sick (allergies, etc.) for a few days, so I convinced her to rest instead.
Today we set the D2 calendar through the end of March. I had a NMMNG success, followed by a communication failure. We seemingly always have D2 Thursday-Saturday or Sunday. Normally it's great, because I have a little extra time with D2 those days. But sometimes I want to go do something on one of those nights, and I basically have to sacrifice one of my nights with D2 to do so. So it was a NMMNG win to understand how I felt and attempt to convey that need to WAW as we are planning the schedule. What I should have done was suggest an alternative to our scheduling pattern, and keep the reason focused on myself. Instead, I said something along the lines of "I always have her on Friday and Saturday nights so you can go out and party". I cringed after I sent that message (we were chatting). Soon after, I apologized.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Instead, I said something along the lines of "I always have her on Friday and Saturday nights so you can go out and party". I cringed after I sent that message (we were chatting). Soon after, I apologized.
I often catch myself (including yesterday) before I send those type of messages. It's just 'too easy' sometimes, isn't it?
Yes. I thought of the 10 minute Headspace app, but that was afterwards. When I apologized to her, I said that it even surprised me, because I'm normally not worked up about things like that anymore. I just wasn't prepared for it. I came here to admit my failure, though, because hearing everyone's comments seems to help me remember next time.
Other than that I've been doing well the last few days. GALing, detached, motivated, happy.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
