How To Be A Man Only A Fool Would Leave

[HPoirot]

Hello Toots, Karma, and vasapro. Toots and Karma you are right... I too believe I can't do buddy buddy family event stuff with her yet. Not just because it's pursuit if I initiate it and wet noodle if I accept her every request to talk... but mostly b/c I'm not ready to yet. I've let myself slide into a sad daddy demeanor over the years. I'm still too much like the HP she left.

As I uncover and show my MOAFWL side, I'll grudgingly start to accept 1 or 2 of her efforts to talk and get together. Then I'll be warmer... only when she initiates. I'll be otherwise to busy to deal with her and her drama.

For now... yes her and her drama I keep firmly outside my boundary.

...

I did send the text to XW. She replied she preferred the week on/off schedule b/c stability for S12 but we'll try the 4 day schedule.

For the tuition. At first she thanked me for updating her on my payments. A little later she said we need to talk. She has more expenses and student loans she said. We need to make another arrangement for the tuition. She already agreed to pay her percentage of the tuition. It amounts to about a quarter of her take home pay. My part is also a quarter of my take home pay.

Before all this happened, of course I was happy to help her pay her student loans. Even after BD, she planed to be nice enough for me to keep paying her expenses. That is part of my problem with her now.

Now, of course, I'm not going to pay her expenses. Only S12's. She will not have enough to pay for the apartment she wants, her car, her student loans, her part of the taxes, and her part of the tuition.

I'm just going to keep paying my part of the joint expenses. I did not answer her follow-up posts saying we need to talk.

So, she may start to say I'm ruining S12's life b/c I'm not paying her part of the tuition... essentially paying her student loans.

I'm not sure the best way to handle this. She doesn't want to work on our M yet she calls me everyday for help b/c her plans for me didn't work.

She doesn't get my help anymore.

Am I wrong?