MLCer and EA w/ OW

[Jer2911]

Just re-reading something my therapist gave me and thought I'd share it here... (She may have gotten this from some other source, but I don't know where so I am sorry if this is not credited properly to the original source...)

Letting Go With Love

Letting go... does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.

Letting go... is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.

Letting go... is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

Letting go... is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome of any situation is not in my hands.

Letting go... is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.

Letting go... is not to care for, but to care about.

Letting go... is not to fix, but to be supportive. It's not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

Letting go... is not to be in the middle arranging the outcome but to allow others to be in charge of their own destinies.

Letting go... is not to be protective, but to permit another to face reality.

Letting go... is not to deny reality, but to accept it -- just the way it is.

Letting go... is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own faults and correct them.

Letting go... is not to adjust everything to my own desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish the day -- just the way it is.

Letting go... is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

Letting go... is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

Letting go... is to fear less and to live more.

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So I am still trying to remind myself of many of these each and every day... And it's hard when I've invested so much of my time, energy, heart, and life into something (our M) that I thought would continue to be in my future.

As I have said before -- I absolutely hate what MLC has done to our family.

Looking for the silver linings... I have a much closer relationship with my own mom now (and I think she and I know each other better now than we have ever known each other in my entire life), a closer relationship with my MIL, and I am growing more in my own faith and spirituality in a very profound way which I have neglected for most of my adult life. Another silver lining is that this whole experience is causing me to examine myself much more deeply than I have in over 10 years, and I know that I am changing and will continue to change in positive ways as a result.