Gogofo - LRT letter - planning a new beginning

[gogofo]

Journaling:

My biggest problem right now is fighting the urge to beg or plead or bargain. She said she felt she had to compromise on everything in the M, she is not compromising on this. I know this is WAW wording, but she seems pretty confident.

The way I feel is that I am good with buying my own house, splitting assets, providing child support, living separate, working on ourselves, etc. She feels the same way. We do better when having some alone time and separation right now. What I am not okay with is the D. She knows this, I know she knows this. I would like us to work on piecing, for quite a while, even two years or more as she works on her doctorate.

I need to get the stink of desperation off of me. She goes between WAW spew and honest feelings when we start creeping into the R area of talks.

I know when she feels not listened to or pushed she postures up, gets a mean face and digs deep to try to defend (rationalize) her decision for D.

I don't want to force her hand or push her towards D. I know I have no control over the situation, but I still has the LBS desire to feel heard and feel my opinion matters. I know a WAW rarely hears these things.