wife during deployment EA/PA another service membe

[Train]

Filing for D? That's a biggie. Let's cross that bridge if/when you get there. I'd think you have a way to go before you add THAT worry onto your already-full plate.

I generally would say: Don't file for D unless you're ready and willing to deal with the natural consequences of that. But if you are sure of your non-negotiable, core beliefs and values - and your W continues to live in an A and stomp all over your stated boundaries about living in an open M - then the next obvious step is to file for D.

Starsky went that route. I filed for legal S. (In NC, we have to wait 12 months after being legally S to file for D.)

I don't want to jump the gun on that quite yet, though. Sometimes, it DOES take some pressure off the WAS ... and sometimes it really seems to be the kick-in-the-pants they need. But I'd never file to get a reaction out of my WAS. I'd only file if/when I was willing and ready to be D.