I'm trying like hell not to spiral. I even told her I needed a time out (as prescribed by our therapist) because I was starting to spiral. I want to be there for her, but I can't sit there and make her feel better about OM.
I think that's healthy, and appropriate.
My mentor here on this forum taught me "Never shelter an adulterer from the consequences of their adultery." I think she needs to feel this, and while you can validate her PAIN I don't think you should swoop in to RESCUE her from from it . . . especially if she's saying it simultaneously with "I have never loved you" ???
I am working very hard on not attacking OM, and almost got there. That's why I took the time out. I know that makes her dig in. Last night she was saying she was no longer angry at me, today she treats me like everything that's wrong in our marriage is my fault. I try to validate and not make her feel abandoned, but Geez.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
