Feeling thankful that goal #1 is achieved - he is home, by February.
I am processing my emotions by myself, instead of throwing them at him to reassure, validate, comfort. Personal goal - being achieved, day by day.
Other than that, I am consumed by nagging worry, sadness, fear. The long history he has of reaching out to other women - friends, platonic and otherwise to meet his emotional needs. Why not guys? They're not interested in that he says. And he's convinced I can't because I haven't before. The seeing other people comment is tearing me up. Before he knew it was a firm boundary he was explaining his little fantasy that he'd be dating other people, working on himself, and making time to connect with me, too. He's backed off of that verbally, but now I am wondering how long that intention was there - whether he was honest with himself about it prior to BD, or after. And now, how he is dealing with his 'promise' not to seek out romantic connection. Can I trust this?
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
