it is interesting - we did have a flare up right before this trip and she stuck to the standard refrain - "this is not working and I don't think i can change this feeling" but for the first time, she drilled down deeper and said "the problem is that I will always do things that I don't want to because I would rather be unhappy than hurt others, but you always feel like you have to win or at least eek out something that works for you. This will always leave me unhappy"
That was a big deal for her since she has only kept the surface analysis and the mantra of "things not working" or that "there were always problems" etc. Not all that helpful.
Yes, I am very much guilty of being competitive and non-supportive in the past (as I stated in my intro piece). How do i project that now is different? I truly do not look at my life like that anymore. And I have tried to just demonstrate that through acts, but it seems that just acting out the changes have not been enough, since she still bring ups the doubts and questions.Or course talking about it only creates resistance. So what to do???
Would love thoughts on this from the forum. Thanks again.
