Im no poster boy on how to conduct yourself DBing wise for sure . If there was an action you shouldnt do if you want to save your marriage , then I did it . I guess that comes with the territory when you have an emotional personality . Here I am 13 months into this shait storm and I still dont know what im doing . One day I want out and the next I cant bare the thought of losing it all . Having said that , if I being honest with my self , my feelings tell me right now that its over , she ruined me . It will take years if ever to trust anyone again . After all , cheating on your loyal husband of 23 years is THE worst thing you could do to your spouse . There is nothing else . What kind of person would do such a thing to such an extent after being given chance after chance to save our family ? A terrible person . Someone that cannot be trusted by anyone ever again the rest of their lives IMO . I admit to a role in the marriage breakdown , for sure , but never ever will I shoulder any of the blame for her disgusting behavior . At this point I can say it truly disgusts me what she has committed . And I understand why it is illegal in many countries around the world. My focus has to be how in the heck am I gonna recover from this assault on my being ?How will I ever be ME again ? Has she ruined me for life ? I pray every night that I can survive this but it seems to be a mountain tooo high to climb .Perhaps I can go around ? Dawgy
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
