Elsa in Piecing (knock on wood)

[gan]

Hey Elsa, Sorry you are in a rough spot lately. It's a challenging dynamic.

Just a couple of thoughts. Has your H read 5LL or have you guys talked about the concepts? Is it entirely clear to him that you feel unloved when he doesn't show you affection? I'm ashamed to say, for me personally, it took seeing these concepts written down in a book (rather than my H saying it) to understand that his needs truly are different from mine.

MrBond's comments above make me think that you might also get something from reading NVC (Rosenburg). Can you work on improving your communication such that you tell H what you specifically need? e.g. "H, when you do [X], it makes be feel [Y]. I'd love it if you would do [Z]." [X] should be an observation (fact), not a judgement or diagnosis. When making a request for [Z] it should not be viewed as a demand; you shouldn't expect him to go through with it, just give him the option to. There are some good videos on Youtube on how to practice non-violent communication if you don't want to read the book.