the things ive focused on so far are detaching and GAL which are working well for me at the moment as im in a much better place mentally than i was.
still on my mind 24/7 but im dealing with it.
the only thing thats really got me is i want to know when it started, its hard finding out things in dribs and drabs because it hurts more and more, i would prefer to know everything and deal with it all in one hit but thats the process i suppose.
Those aren't changes. In what ways have you changed for the better? For example you said you drifted apart. Have you learned why and how to make your relationships better? Have you found the books yet?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Not much of a change since my last post, w clothes are here but she's staying over her mams. W is here on a regular basis cleaning and treating it as her home again.. Is this something I should go along with for a while to see where it goes ?
she seems to be straightening herself out and concentrating on being the good parent she always was. Don't think om is in the picture so much lately other than the 4 hours a week in work. I don't know this for a fact and I haven't asked or been spying but it's hard not to notice things because we live so close and are in regular contact.....I wouldn't be surprised if I'm wrong though.. Nothing surprises me these days :-) GAL is going great, so great I fact that I'm struggling to fit it all in :-)
Just an update...w is still talking in riddles, she made a comment that she lives here, her clothes are here and she comes here to wash and iron clothes (her choice, I've been managing fine ) and she makes sure she does it before I get chance. The only thing she doesn't do is sleep here. She also makes a point of coming here when she knows il be here, it used to be the opposite.
She also makes sarcastic remarks about my cleaning, my cleaning is quite good and I detect her remarks have a touch of resentment. All this tends to happen early in the week before she has contact with om, the second half of the week after work contact with om she becomes more distant.
GAL and detaching are going well, still get the full range of emotions through the day , sad, hurt, angry, self blaming etc mainly when I wake in the morning but I fight it off easier these days, my main thoughts to do this are :
I'm a good honest hardworking father who somewhere along the line took my relationship for granted ,
I won't make the same mistake again,
Even if w don't get the benefit of a better me, someone will and so will I,
It was w choice to go this route all alone,
Om isn't a better person, just someone who sleeps with married women, it makes him all the more of bottom feeder when you consider his mother done the very same thing, so he should know exactly what my family is going through yet he persists on perusing w.
That's the part that makes me so angry that I want to hurt him, I won't but it doesn't stop me thinking about it sometimes, I hope w will see through him for her own sake at least.......
Your rite cadet she is very lost indeed, I really worry sometimes, not just about the effect all this is having on my children or how things are going to turn out but how it's affecting her, she's not the same and she says and does things that are unbelievable.
I'm trying not to focus on her but as everyone knows it's very difficult when your in contact daily We got on ok for nearly 2 weeks but out of nothing she picked an argument and she's been strange ever since. I've just carried on as normal being polite and trying to ignore the mood swings. She says on a daily basis that she's moving back in and I can tell by her that she wants a reaction but I don't say anything.
As for hobbies, I play golf twice a week which will be 3 times a week when the clocks change, I go to my local at least once a week, sometimes twice and my mates have invited me to try clay shooting which sounds like fun.
Chatting with w today she tells me I've changed, she likes the way I am but now resents me for turning into the person she always wanted me to be. Is this a good thing ? It's not an act, I feel like I've woken up. She did say that she likes me and likes the way I am with others but she doesn't like the way I am with her, not sure what she means as I treat her the same as I treat everyone.
