wife during deployment EA/PA another service membe

[Train]

should I split our financial accounts to show independence or just continue with our things joined. I want to show that I am capable of moving on but I don't want her to think I gave up and we are completely finished.

I will defer to Starsky for a final word on this, because this is one of his specialties.

Fwiw, I would split the accounts asap so that you aren't helping fund her A. Forgive me if you've mentioned it and it is slipping my mind right now, but does she have a job?

If you do decide to split the accounts and if W balks, I would put my hand up and say: "W, this is not what I wanted, but I will NOT live in an open M, and I will NOT help fund your A." And then walk away.