H agrees that is true, but then goes on to say that His Thing is different because of the aforementioned "right to not be perturbed." H then explains to the MC that His Thing is an incident that happened right before BD, when I stood over H while he was laying down and yelled at him that he was weak because he wouldn't talk to me.
This sounds like my STBX. And I lived with it for a REALLY long time, and I would have continued to live with it till it became clear to me that he just doesn't care. And now? There is NOTHING he could do to get me to trust him again. Because now, and for the future, this is a deal breaker for me. A caring spouse sacrifices -- SOMETIMES. And recognizes the other person's sacrifices with appreciation. That is my new deal breaker.
I don't know what real piecing looks like so I don't have advice for you. But that is how I feel from my own perspective. It feels TO ME like he is using the MC to try to get YOU to change your deal breakers, not for the two of you to figure out how to be happily married to one another.
I don't remember what your H is so hurt by? What are you taking responsibility for, and what has he taken responsibility for?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
