Calibri (3)

[Mozza]

I'm sure you go there with the intention of talking, but try to go there to listen. DB advises that any meeting should be seen as information gathering. There seems to be a lot unsaid between the two of you.

First, you should check all the information that you have. From what I understand, HE hasn't told you directly that he wants to D. You heard it from his mom and you have some way to know HE knows what his mom told you. Hence, try to calmly verify this information. Ask if he told his mom to call you, ask what he told her to say, etc. I've been surprised countless times when I asked for clarifications from the source — my interpretation was all wrong, as clear as it was to me.

Also, you're very forceful and now you're upset. And you're facing a people pleaser. To me, the biggest risk is that he'll tell you what you want to hear (then change it tomorrow). You'll need to come across as accepting and especially not upset, whatever he tell you. You need to take it with a poker face so that he keeps talking. This is how you'll know what he really wants. Not by saying "Tell me the truth this time!" He'll just try to tell you what you want to hear so that you don't get more upset. The way you describe his mom, I'm not surprised he has developed this coping mechanism over the years.

This gives you the option of waiting until later, when you have verified all the information, to tell him that you have filed. Perhaps you'll change your mind, perhaps you'll decide to wait. I just hope you can be patient for a few minutes before you drop it.

Seen from here, you're very impulsive. You'll probably disagree, but filing within days because he had some flirty exchanges and tried to cover them is way below the standards of this board and, more importantly, the timeline is not what's advisable. You need to absorb any information and not jump to conclusions ("It's over! This is my life! We're done!") until you have digested it and gained some perspective. I told you before that you are controlling and this reaction is yet another example. You're taking back control of the whole thing under the guise of "protecting yourself". You couldn't wait for him to serve you the papers. You've not described any behavior from H that suggests he's a threat to you. My WAW has been gone for over 4 months and yet I haven't filed anything because I don't see any threats and I've been right so far. So it's not a catch-all excuse, it needs to be demonstrated as relevant to your case.

Come to think of it, he just promised his IC that he would not talk to you without an intermediary, yet you ask for a meeting and he agrees. Is it that he really goes along with whatever he's been told last?