Wife having emotional affair 5

[3kids]

Georgia Bulldogs, thanks for following and stopping in. I value everyone's opinion. It gives me different view points. Which is always a good thing.

Well to start off yes the petition is being dismissed but haven't received a letter from the court yet. As far the "wife's day" I happen to think it's good that we have a set schedule for the kids. It gives them stability. Plus both of us are flexible when one of us makes plans on the other parents days. Which is a great thing.

I was never under any court order with her. So yes we have both a 100% custody. But we live in two separate houses, so letting the kids choose who they want to spend all there time with would be complete anarchy. Plus I would never get any personal GAL time then. Because I know me and I would want to spend every second with them. And that's not good either. The kids need to love both of us and see both of us. I think you need to keep there life as normal as possible.

As far as the child support goes. I have thought about that since I got the call from my lawyer. There are a couple of different reasons why I have decided to continue to pay. For one it's an honorable thing to do. She is a full time student and mother and works when she can get hours. If I didn't give that money would my kids have less of a life, yes! That doesn't set well with me. When she is done with school she will make the same as me if not more. So paying for another 10 months is not going to kill me.

So, you came from the "other forum". If you where on there then you can understand a LOT has changed. We no longer fight with each other. We handle the kids business to the best of our ability. The divorce petition has stopped. We are friendly towards each other. I have my own place which is a secure and stable place for me and my kids. I think those are HUGE changes, personally. And there is a ton more.

Yes, she is still involved with OM. But I can't change that. I can only change myself. So no I am not working on my marriage. Right now there is no marriage to work on. There is a relationship to work on. And that right now is being the best co parents we can be to our kids. You can't force someone to be with you. They have to choose that. So going dark I don't think would do me any good. For one we have kids. So going dark is impossible. Second, we are friendly towards each other. Third, I am never the one to call about or discuss anything other then the kids or business. I can't force her and OM to stop contact by doing anything. If she did, down the road she would probably find second OM or not fully try to work on our marriage(if we found each other again).

Maybe I'm missing the whole DB process. I thought it was mainly working on yourself and the changes you saw that needed to be fixed. Finding you again and moving forward in life. If your partner chooses to join you then great. If not, there loss and someone else's gain. But correct me if I'm wrong, please.

Thank you for bringing up the past. I had forgot about those mistakes I made. Not really. But I choose not to live in them. Yes I cheated on my wife, long before we where even married. And yes I did go on some dates with women before I started the DB process. I was feeling insecure about myself. That's not a crime. It's just a flaw. That I'm trying to fix. No ones perfect.

I guess it's all about how you look at this. Is it a positive or a negative. I really try to look at it as a positive. Seven months ago when I was on the "other forum" I was headed straight for a divorce. Now that process has stopped. Five months ago the wife was headed straight for moving in with OM. Now she is not. One year ago we fought almost every day. Now we don't. One year ago I didn't know who I was anymore. NOW IM FINDING MYSELF AGAIN. Those are some positive things right there.

So thank you Georgia Bulldogs for making me look at all the positive that have come from this forum and my work.

Thank you so much,
3kids

Ps: I'm nobodies back up plan. It's my choice to work on my marriage or not. If the opportunity should show it self.